March 2 - Maine

I am going home.

After much soul-searching (and apartment searching), I have decided what I really want most is to go home. Back to Massachusetts.

I suppose it comes mostly from a lifetime of living there; born, brought up, etc. I have been very fortunate to have been able to travel as much and experience the things I have in my life. This winter in Maine - it has provided me with a lot of introspection and food for thought.

I have enjoyed it, and have been productive. Both in my thinking and my painting :) The people up here have been very friendly and quite kind, but after all is said and done it just - does not - feel like home.

Due to some unseasonably warm weather this past week I was able to get out a few times and take care of things (like laundry - ugh - but I made a new friend!). My sister and her significant other will be up tomorrow night for the weekend, and I look forward to that.

When I first arrived in Maine I was unsure what the purpose was for me ending up in this space and time (as mentioned in previous posts). Now I know. Not many people get to "try out" living somewhere temporarily before moving there permanently; I count myself lucky in having to been able to do so.

Many reasons for my decision: the taxes (Maine state tax is 8.8% on everything, including food), lack of reasonably-priced and good-size rentals (with weird fees!) even several hours away from here, missing my brother, and fickle weather - I decided no. I am working diligently on finding housing at home, with several options on the line.

Besides the "trying it out in Maine" thing, another very positive thing has happened. I have always had a good relationship with my sister and we have always been close. Staying up here and seeing her for long periods of time every few weekends, talking so much and spending the time with her, has altered the tides. I feel we have become a lot closer and our relationship has shifted for the better. It is very hard to explain. It has been a subtle, yet positive change. I believe it has been good for both of us.

And as Dorothy says, "there's no place like home".