June 21 - Massachusetts

Very short post this afternoon. Appointments today and Friday; errands tomorrow.

Hit the wall in a serious way this week. Not sure exactly what that "last straw" was. I think a combination of the book thing, plus looking at all the boxes yet to be unpacked (mostly decor at this point - plus all the boxes in my studio) rather put me on edge. Left me feeling a bit down. As though I should have a lot more accomplished at this point.

So I called my most supportive, encouraging sister :) She has an upbeat way of pointing things out I overlook at times.

And sometimes - you just need to talk to your sister :)

Felt so much better afterward!

I realize, too, how very fortunate I am that my siblings and I ARE so close and get along so well. I know far too many people who do not get along with or talk to their siblings. I feel sad for them and what they are missing out on.

Friends come and go; acquaintances pass through. Best friends are very rare and cherished. But siblings... one cannot choose them. The stars, the heavens align, and you get the luck of the draw :)

To know you can call your brother or sister and know they will be there for you in a heartbeat - means the world. They have always been there for me, and especially during the past 6 months. We have always been here for one another. That is simply how it is. We are the fortunate.

Sometimes for no other reason than to talk it out.

It is - totally and absolutely - priceless.

 June 18 - Massachusetts

Good evening intrepid followers! It is a bit late and tonight's post is a bit long but I do have pix :)

Past two weeks have been busy; minor car repairs and errands took a good chunk of time. My most awesome brother spent a great deal of time last Saturday putting my bookcases together and (once again) moving boxes around.

Here are some pix of the new bookcases before I filled them.

New bookcases (blurry pic)

Panda - just 'cuz she was so cute!

Spent a good part of last week unpacking (and cleaning) books, and wanted to weep several nights. I knew many had been lost simply judging from the number of boxes. I thought I had steeled myself. I was mistaken.

Sooo many were lost. To discover what is actually missing now they are unpacked breaks my heart.

It is akin to going through the "7 Stages of Grief". Shock - processing what happened: the fire. There was no #2, which is denial. Oh it happened all right!

Anger. Much anger for the carelessness and slovenliness of the people who lived downstairs. Next stage is bargaining or reasoning. The second is more appropriate; I am not mourning a person or lifestyle. Before opening those first few boxes I had hope (reasoned) most of the books I really wanted were in there. The books that REALLY MEANT something made it.

Stage #5 is depression. I have never been depressed, but discovering at least half my books are gone is quite depressing.

#6 is "initial acceptance", and #7 is "redirected hope". I did get through part of that initial acceptance after opening all the boxes and sitting down with a glass of wine to calm down and contemplate. #7, not so much.

Then I went directly back into Anger mode. That the stupidity and carelessness of 2 people cost me the loss of over a half a lifetime's collection of books. Books are not inexpensive, and most of mine were hardcover. More importantly, several collections were passed down from my grandmother & her family. They are irreplaceable. I carefully cared for, read, and loved them well all these years. Now - with the careless flick of a cigarette - gone. Perhaps that may sound a bit selfish but well - there you have it.

One bookcase

Second bookcase :(

 On the up-side most of my beloved poetry books made it. My Frost, Whittier, Hemingway, Dickenson and Browning. Shakespeare, Hemingway, Irving, and some of Fitzgerald and Poe also made it intact. My Hermann Hesse collection made it, but not the Bronte sisters or most of my Edith Whartons.

Also missing - most of my biographies. My entire collection of Jean Auel ("Clan of the Cave Bear" series), and well over half of my Anne Rice books.

That "redirected hope" thing may take awhile as concerns my books.

Here is what is left of my Anne Rice collection (which previously took up an entire shelf). THAT angers me. I loved those books, and read and re-read them many times.

Anne Rice - middle shelf is what is left :(

However, the place is really opening up and coming together! Yay!! Addition of furniture has really helped. Yes I still have a way to go, but am making really good progress.

I also now have my little deck outfitted with a cool new grill and a perfect little patio set! Of course... my brother put together the grill as well as the patio set.

New grill!

New grill!!

Patio set :)

 
He has given up the past 2 of his Sacred Sundays. He works, very hard, all week. We normally spend Saturdays together grocery shopping etc.

We both like "stay at home Sundays". No phone calls, no visitors, etc. I do not bother him and vice versa. Down time.

The past 2 Sundays he has given that up to help me out. I bought him lunch both Sundays. It is very small repayment for what he has done, but at least it is something.

I will leave you with some pix of my teacup roses, some of which are in full bloom. Absolutely gorgeous! And some just-opening miniature sunflowers. I have groupings of daisies as well, which I shall take pictures of this week.

The abundance of flowers in my yard, and my newly furnished patio, make me so happy! Despite the book issues, the books that were in my apartment bedroom - collection of 1940s Nancy Drews and my entire collection of Nora Roberts (another guilty pleasure!) are fully intact.

Teacup roses

More roses

Miniature sunflowers