Tuesday, March 6 - Massachusetts

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"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

          -- Dalai Lama

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Good evening, friends! Much has happened in the past few weeks, which I will elaborate on in another post. It is late, but the subject has been on my mind for awhile. This is one of my "getting on my soapbox" for a bit posts. I will try to keep it brief, knowing it will likely not be. It is a subject that sticks in my craw. Body shaming. Apologies to the men upfront; this one is geared more for women.

I read a ton of news online. Did not watch the Oscars but read the highlights yesterday. Many articles (too many) were critical of who wore what/looked good or did not. "Oh look, this actress lost all her baby weight in two weeks". "What happened to that one, is she wearing a mumu?" Do not even get me started on Fashion Week.

Really? Who decides what is OK and what is not? I say - enough.

As one who has struggled with weight issues for years (to put more on) I have had it. What message does that send to young girls? I do not want to see another generation growing up with body issues.

Most are familiar with what is called "fat shaming". It is hideous and cruel, not to mention very ill-mannered. Speaking for myself, so is "skinny shaming". I am so very tired of it. It hurts just as much to be told "you need to eat more", "finish your meal", "I can fold you into my suitcase". Even worse - "I wish I was your weight." No. No you do not.

I eat more than anyone realizes. My doctor would love nothing more than if I gained even 5 pounds. So would I. My metabolism is unfortunately much faster than my appetite.

Truth? I am 5'7" and wear like a size 0 or 2 at most. It is as hard to find clothes that fit well & look good as it is for much larger women. And I take umbrage at the number. Size 0 - that is like... size... nothing. And they have clothes that come in 00. Just in case you do not look enough like a coat hanger. Seriously.

When I was younger I was chubby for a few years. Subject to the cruelties of pre-teens. So I do know what it is like from both sides of the fence.

It would be nice to be curvy, to be able to sit in seats without padding and be comfortable. To fit nicely into clothes. To be able to buy them at a regular price at a regular store whose sizes start smaller than 8 (looking at you, WalMart & Burlington). I am way, way past 14 and do not wish to buy my clothes at Abercrombie & Fitch.

On the up-side, many agencies do not use models who resemble coat-racks anymore. 'Bout time! Normal people do not look like walking skeletons.

Read an article today that rather summed it up. The lady was fat-shamed on the subway because she was bringing home a few cookies to share with her roomie. She is a bit curvy and very pretty. The intruder tapped her on the shouler & said "it must be nice to eat what you want & not worry about it. I can't - I'm a dancer." How rude! That is not cool. I cannot post the lady's response. Suffice it to say it was 2 words and began with an "F". Fortunately iit did not ruin the lady's day. You go, girl!

Her after comments:

"It doesn't matter what weight I am. It doesn't matter what weight you are. What matters is how we treat each other... Let's remove shame from the equation... Let's use some of that rightgeous indignation for good. Let's stop apologizing for our bodies and start defending them". - Rebecca Jane Stokes

Your body type does not define you as a human being. Be healthy. Be happy with who you are and embrace the body you are in.

Dish out compliments instead of insults. Insults can be incredibly hurtful on a bad day.